Some days are heavier than others — and not just physically.
When you are obese, the weight you carry isn’t always yours alone. It can be the weight of passing comments, stares that linger too long, chairs that don’t quite fit, unsolicited advice dressed up as concern. And over time, all of that — the quiet, everyday friction of navigating a world not built for you — can start to chip away at your spirit.
But here’s the truth no one says loudly enough: you have every right to exist exactly as you are — and to feel good while doing it.
Keeping your spirits up when you’re obese isn’t about pretending things are easy. It’s about protecting your joy in a world that tries, in small and loud ways, to take it from you. It’s not always a straight line. But it’s possible. And you are absolutely worth the effort.
Start with your self-talk — the inner voice that narrates your day. Is it kind? Is it yours? Or has it been shaped by everything you’ve ever been told you’re not? You don’t need to force yourself into toxic positivity. But you can start gently. Instead of “I hate how I look,” try “I’m allowed to take up space.” Instead of “I should be smaller,” try “I’m more than a body.” These aren’t magic spells. But they’re seeds. And over time, they grow into something stronger than shame: self-respect.
Surround yourself with people and spaces that don’t make you feel like a project. Whether it’s online communities, a book club, a joyful fitness class, or a circle of friends who see you, not just your size — find the places where you can breathe easy. Where laughter isn’t laced with judgment. Where no one’s trying to fix you. Where your worth is assumed, not negotiated.
And on hard days — because they do come — nourish yourself emotionally, not just physically. That might mean making a meal that feels good and comforting, not just functional. Or going for a walk not to lose weight, but to feel the wind on your face and remember you’re alive. Or curling up with a book, calling someone who makes you laugh, dancing in your kitchen. Whatever lights you up — even if it’s small, even if no one else sees it — do more of that.
Also, give yourself permission to rest from the fight. The mental energy it takes to navigate fat phobia, body policing, and social expectations is real — and exhausting. You don’t have to be an activist every day. You don’t owe the world your transformation story. You don’t have to earn your joy.
Your spirit doesn’t live in a number on a scale. It lives in your laughter, your kindness, your thoughts, your resilience. It lives in your ability to show up for yourself, over and over, even when it’s hard.
So hold your head high. You are not a before picture. You are not a problem to solve. You are a person. Whole, worthy, and allowed to take up space in this world — and in your own life — with pride, softness, and full-hearted joy.
Whatever you do, resist the urge to eat your way out of the funk.
And on the days when that feels far away, know this: you’re not alone. And you’ve already come farther than you think.
